Purpose 1: I Am OK

I have a dream.  It is a simple dream, but one that takes a lifetime to navigate.  I dream to live out my life using all the gifts that were given to me by my Creator and to help others do the same.   It sounds quite simple really, but sounding simple and being simple are oceans apart at times.  I am daring to tread the waters that have been before me my entire life.  I want to share my story, my journey.  I want you to share your journey.  This is real faith; choosing to believe in what God sees in us, and putting away all other views. 

Purpose One
I Am OK

As a younger girl, I felt a sense of dread at the knowledge of my difference from others.  Taking one look at my freckled skin and wild red hair was all the proof I needed. I concocted spot removing potions and used all the latest, greatest self-tanners to hide my paleness.  I bought flat irons for my hair and special smoothing serums.  I even tried changing it's color a couple of times.  I waged war on the me I saw in the mirror.  Surely, I could create something better than what I saw. 

It didn't stop at appearance.  I purposely looked for things that seemed noteworthy and successful to accomplish.  I disregarded many things that I wanted or liked, and went straight for things that I thought would be good.  I lived many of my days striving to be what seemed a "good" version of me.  I never took the time to really seek out a real, natural fit.  It tainted my studies, my relationships, and my hobbies.  I spent a lot of time going after things without a definitive inner God-given purpose.  I just wanted to be "good".

I let go of people I loved and some dreams I secretly treasured in the name of duty.  It was my duty to God and others to seek a life that checked certain boxes.  It seemed a part of faith to forsake human desires to reach loftier heights for Godly good.  It was born out of good intentions, but carried to distances that were never meant to be traveled. 

Denial of self is often a distorted idea.  No doubt there are many times in life when denying the selfish wants in life to attain a greater good for others is extremely necessary.  But I made a habit of self denial that was not appropriate.  It accomplished little good and rendered me unable to determine what my purpose and talents really were.  It left me feeling guilty for enjoying some things and aimless in where to focus my passions.  At the end of the day, all I had were piles of things I'd done, and no connective and growing thread to show for it. 

That is why I am here.  That is why I am writing The Freckled Egg.  God has been taking me on a journey to realize that He made me exactly the way He intended.  He loved the me He made.  He distributed my gifts, loves, and passions for His purpose.  And no amount of doing will ever equal simply living in the path that He divinely created just for this freckled and speckled girl.  My goal in life is to unpack those gifts that are uniquely mine and put them back into His Hands.

I am laying down the piles of "good" things in hopes to open my arms to His best gifts.  I am going to live in the skin he wrapped my heart in.  I am going to write the words He puts in my head.  I am going to sing the songs my heart longs to sing, and I am going to revel in His good work in me.

I want to share my journey because I think a lot women find themselves in familiar shoes.  When the dust settles from the whirlwind days of being a young girl, it seems daunting to find a place for this person we have become.  Suddenly, we find our hearts wrapped into children, husband, home, and job.  We do all the necessary things to keep all the wheels turning, but often wonder if we are not really just a spinning top whirling around in mere circles. 

Admittedly, there is great purpose in the life of a woman and her role in her family.  It takes wonder-woman-like strength some days to simply survive the mayhem.  But, I do believe that beyond our duties there is purpose and passion.  I believe we are more than cheerios, high heels, and balanced check books.  I believe we have more to give than rice crispy treats for soccer games and a couple of hours in the church nursery.  We have a well-spring of beautiful things that God put right into our very being.  I truly believe that when we learn to operate from the core of who He made us to be, then purpose and passion come alive.  Then, we become effective stewards of the good gifts He gave us all.

I invite you to join me here as we journey through scripture and through life.  I hope that we can pull together a beautiful picture of ladies from many places that are aiming to live from the center of our hearts with one goal in mind.  Our purpose is to discover our gifts and give them back to The Giver.   I challenge you on this first day to simply leave a comment that gives us a hint of something you are passionate about.  It can simply be a one-word answer like knitting or reading.  It doesn't have to be anything ground-breaking.  It just has to be something you absolutely love to do.  I hope you will share something.  I know sometimes it is really easy to read something and click away anonymously and leave no evidence you were ever around.  This time...don't.  This time take two seconds and "brag" on one sweet thing God gave you to love. 

I'll start.

Leah --arranging furniture.

See, that was pretty simple!  I dare to you to do the same.  After you do, take a minute and read this verse, Psalm 139: 14

       I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Can you praise Him for making you wonderfully? Does your soul knoweth right well?  Maybe not yet, but hopefully this journey will take you there so that soon you too can echo the words of the Psalmist.  We all hatched from some pretty special eggs...mine was freckled.  I am starting to see that as a beautiful thing. I hope you will see yourself that way as well.

Leah